Playing Life
by milkmoth
Summary: Anya confesses to Xander her qualms about Life. Anya/Xander, S4, oneshot


Notes: A little ficlet that takes place immediately after 'Fear, Itself'. My grasp of early Anya is still loose, so please excuse any canon error. This version is longer than the version submitted for whedonland (wlwolframhart) on livejournal because of length limitations. It involves Anya's early impression of the cast and her relationship with Xander. Enjoy the uncut content. (It's not very sexy or anything, in case that's what you expected. It's just bunnies.)

* * *

"Honey, is your friend going home soon?"

"No, Mom!"

"Your mother doesn't seem to want me here."

Xander turned grimly back to the board set before them. "Well, she'll have to get over it- BECAUSE THIS IS MY BASEMENT. I PAY RENT FOR IT."

Anya wondered why Xander was shouting. She spun the wheel while he mumbled something about his mother.

"Five. One, two, three, four, five. What is this?"

"Marriage. You can find your plastic blue mate over here. I hope you're very happy together. My turn."

"Do I have to?"

"An, just add one to your car so I can spin."

Anya picked one of the blue figures up by the very tips of her index finger and thumb, shoving him into the back seat of the car, as far away from her pink figure as possible. She crossed her arms and leaned back in the chair, still not looking at him.

"Geez, what is it?"

"Your friends find me annoying and distasteful. So does your mother. While you were peeing I told her I was here to have sex with you."

Xander's face turned a purply shade of red. "Yeah," he said, "That's usually the kind of thing that you tell your boyfriend's mother when you want to gain her motherly approval."

Anya brightened. "Oh. That's good then. And is that what we are? Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Would you just let me make this spin in peace?"

"No, really! Maybe if you tell your friends that I'm your girlfriend they'll like me better. Buffy strongly disapproves of me, I can tell. She still remembers when I antagonized you all. Frankly, I think she's insensitive. I would expect another working girl to understand the demands of our similarly messy work."

Xander looked unsettled. "We really need to brush up on your euphemsisms. Anya, keep in mind that introducing yourself as a 'working girl' isn't a good way to start off."

"Don't distract me with your '_euphemisms'_! I never understand those things, and anyway, I'm not done yet! The werewolf boy is coolly indifferent toward me, and Giles is wary of me. Willow strongly dislikes me. I'm not even a demon anymore! I would certainly appreciate the chance to regain my powers and immortality, but I am clearly human at this point, and I hate it, but I don't know what I can do to prove it to these people. Furthermore, I _know _you two had a mutual, sexual attraction, and I am threatened by it. I strongly dislike her. It's bizarre. I want them to like me, but they don't, and I dislike them all. The only person here I like is you. And Xander, if you're having sex with me, then I don't want you having sex with other women, all right? Or kissing them? All right?"

"Anya…" He was torn between making a sarcastic comment – _If I had that much luck I wouldn't be sleeping with an ex-demon – _and comforting her.

Obviously, the whole introducing-the-girl-you're-sleeping-with-to-your-friends thing had not gone over well.

"What?"

"Just spin."

"No," Anya said, her voice faltering "It's still your turn, and I want to go home."

"Anya-"

He took her hand from across the table, and she looked at him eyes wide.

"Yes?"

He panicked and let her hand go. "Look, put that bunny suit back on and we can forget this ever happened."

"Oh, I forgot. You human males eroticize rabbit features. I have no idea why, but don't think I didn't see those ghastly magazines lying around in here."

"Anya."

"What?"

"I got a three. Look, I'm getting married, too. I get a little pink wife-"

"Throw her into the lake."

"No can do."

"No, really. I can throw my husband into the lake, and you can do the same with your wife, and we can share a small, ugly car."

"It would be like murder. Even worse, it would be breaking the rules."

"Then let's break them," Anya said, and she leaned over the table, grabbed him, and kissed him.


End file.
